CHOMP Vegan Eatery – Dine Dom

2234 E Hastings Street, Vancouver, BC V5L 1V4

04/17/19

4/5 stars

"Hello everybody, I'm Morgan Freeman. And for you to understand why I'm talking to you we will have to go back to a simple time. Our journey starts in the misunderstood streets of Nanaimo and Hastings, a breeding ground for the uncommon individual.".... BACON! The Americans call you 'Canadian Bacon'. Muslims have shunned you as a sin because of your guilty indulgence. The internet celebrates you. I'm not even sure if the Amish know who you are. What is it that causes such phenomena? I believe it's your shape shifting, gypsy like ability to be delicious in any form. Which is why CHOMP peaked my curiosity when they introduced you as coconut bacon. A completely vegan version, sweet and salty take of the original silhouette. You might also note the interior screams "BEETLEJUICE"! The bold and dangerous patron may consider uttering his name three times, however I was not prepared to have Michael Keaton's electrically pale, Medusa like presence bother my relaxing experience with free pre-meal popcorn and a jazzy Apollo Theatre like soundtrack. The only thing setting me back that day was using the garbage can marked "feminine hygiene products only". We are fortunate to live in a time where equality is on the rise and LGBT is more than an abbreviation for a sandwich, it's a revolution. I'm progressive, however some stones should be left unturned and this was not a can of worms you want to open before your meal. Luckily the in house quality combined with creative chefs showcased flavours I've never experienced and would describe as a treat. Even more so their Homer Simpson like doughnuts. The small menu allows for quick decisions and nothing in there will leave you with the cringe, except Michael Keaton of course. Unless somehow you're able to summon his Batman role. You will definitely need the help of MICHAEL KAINE. (We all know you read that in a "MOIKLE KANNEEEE" accent. That one too...) He will probably summon the presence of Lucious Fox. Which brings us to what Mr. Freeman was trying to tell us at the beginning of this tale. The dangerous summoning of Beetlejuice could lead to the birth of Batman in this city. With super heroes come super villains, and I'm not prepared to deal with Banes' antics anytime soon. So order some mac and cheese and let the soundtrack relax you.

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