The Cannibal Cafe – Dine Dom


1818 Commercial Drive, Vancouver, BC V5N 4A5


3.5/5 stars

           Being called “Cannibal Cafe” one can’t help but wonder if there is a password used for ordering human meat, I tried codeword “Chinatown”. But after my best Rockford impersonations the closest thing I found was meat raised humanely, which in probably every way is better. We came in with an average heart rate of about 110 knots after an espresso rip celebrating a birthday. (free Starbucks and Cannibal Cafe gives you a free burger on your birthday!) So after presenting ID we claimed the American classic burger. Old rock flyers as wall paper, CCR through the stereo which set the stage for the Vietnam war vibes. The burger itself was really just a standard cheeseburger but had very fine touches, high caliber ingredients and more lift than Donatella Versace’s face. Squaring up at about six or seven inches I had to give it the old Nurmagomedov ground and pound just to fit it in my mouth. Nonetheless, ingredients were carefully selected and prepared down to the fresh cut fries. Also a very underrated amenity, thick napkins. CCR, ‘Nam, cheeseburgers, everything short of the apache Arnold told us to get to. Which makes me consider, is it possible the cannibal in this cafe is the same cannibal from ‘Predator’? Brash, but there are undeniable ties. Regardless of my kooky theories, it’s hard to not think that we are the fortunate sons.

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